Stop and Stare

By A.R.

Big grins are now slopping downwards, as the depressor anguli oris works its magic and transform KODians' beautiful smiles into frowns.

Why brothers and sisters? Because the holiday is coming to an end, and another great adventure awaits us in Block 3!

Now let's look back, and reminiscence the time we have spent throughout the holiday.

Family time [check]

Read Mathurat [Check]

Movie marathon [Check]

Level up 5 times in any game [Check]

Build abs [Check]

Learn how to cook [Check]

Take a peek for next block's subject [50%]

Go to Paris [Pending]

Visit a Friend [Pending]

And many more!

I am sure all of you have your own personal way of spending your holiday.

Let me share a bit about what I believe is important not only during our holiday, but for the rest of our lives.

Yesterday happened to be my father's birthday and we celebrated it by having a buffet dinner at a restaurant. All 10 of us, including my cousins who are currently studying in Kuala Lumpur. As it is a restaurant recommended by yours truly, of course I wanted everything to run smoothly. And Alhamdulillah, my father,mum and siblings LOVED it.

During the dinner, I noticed that my cousin constantly asked my parents if they need anything ie;

Scene 1#

Cousin :  Have you tried the coffee Mu? Mummy do you want some?

Mum ( my mum) : Yes please

Mu (my dad) : Yeah sure

Yours truly (me) : What about me?

Cousin : You have legs dude.

-_-

Scene 2#

Cousin : Mummy do you want steak? *busy frying steaks*

Mum : There's steak? o__o

Cousin : yeah, want some?

Mum : Okay sure, why not

Yours truly : I want one too

Cousin : Cook one by yourself

-_-

Anyway, naturally, my mum was smitten by my cousin's action which put me to shame. My mum said, and I quote, "Your cousin sure knows how to treat elders" with a hint of sarcasm. Ouch. Hey, I am not saying I did not offer anything to my parents, but I did ask if they want any drinks but both were too preoccupied to even realise I was asking so... Cousin : Yeah, lame excuse dude. 

Mama's compliment got me thinking. Have I been this nice to my parents? Have I been tending to their needs and treating them with love? Did I come home each holiday embracing my siblings and tell them how much I miss them?  Did I respect my grandparents and help them when I was around? Did I call my lovely aunts and ask if they are doing okay? Did I invite my cousins for a day out and do something fun yet worth doing? Did I play and buy gifts for my niece and nephew equally?

"قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ," وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ باللهِ وَاليَومِ الآخِرِ ، فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain good the ties of blood relationship." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

SubhanAllah! Maintaining good relationships with your kindred is part of the deal when you say, أَشْهَدُ ألا إله الا الله و أشْهَدُ ان مُحَمدا رَسُوْل الله .. By upholding good ties with your kin indirectly brings you closer to Allah تعالى‏.

There is no way of running from the responsibility of loving your kindred. But who are these kins the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) is talking about? I quoted from a book which explained that kins are your parents, siblings, children, grandparents, grandparents' siblings, grandchildren, uncles and their children, aunts and their children, nephews and their children, cousins and their children, from BOTH of your parents' side. WHOAH!

When Allah sent you into this world, He did not only grant you a loving family, but a whole life support group who are ready and well trained to help, love and support you in your time of need. MasyaAllah! Ain't that amazing? Your own personalised hand-picked chosen by Allah تعالى‏  A-team!

But of course, life is not a bed of roses. We are constantly tested and even the best of teams, have their own bumps and holes along the way. So let's say, some of your kins are hard to reach and insisted to be left alone. Or perhaps some are a tad mean, and spread rumours about us. Or maybe, some feel superior and do us wrong. What should we do then? Fight back? Correct them? Ignore them?

 أَتَى رَجُلٌ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ‏:‏" يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِنَّ لِي قَرَابَةً أَصِلُهُمْ وَيَقْطَعُونَ، وَأُحْسِنُ إِلَيْهِمْ وَيُسِيئُونَ إِلَيَّ، وَيَجْهَلُونَ عَلَيَّ وَأَحْلُمُ عَنْهُمْ، قَالَ‏:‏ لَئِنْ كَانَ كَمَا تَقُولُ كَأَنَّمَا تُسِفُّهُمُ الْمَلَّ، وَلاَ يَزَالُ مَعَكَ مِنَ اللهِ ظَهِيرٌ عَلَيْهِمْ مَا دُمْتَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ‏."‏
A man once came to see the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said, "Messenger of Allah! I have relatives with whom I maintain ties while they cut me off. I am good to them while they are bad to me. They behave foolishly towards me while I am forbearing towards them.'
The Prophet said, 'If things are as you said, it is as if you were putting hot ashes on them and you will not lack a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do that.'

SubhanAllah! The Prophet of Allah (ﷺ) has made it clear. There is no such thing as an eye for an eye or in our case, a tooth for a tooth despite what they have done to us, either they cheat, steal, lie, accuse or betray us. Our duty is to maintain a GOOD relationship with them REGARDLESS. 

Allah تعالى said in the Quran surah Al-Baqarah verse 153,
"O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient." [2:153]

Now let's stop and stare.

Do you think we can be that person?

Do you think we can be the bigger man and remain patient?

Do you think we can be the one who prays to Allah تعالى and as Him to forgive our kins?

Let's brace ourselves and make our intentions (niat) clear, to do this for Allah تعالى. Insya Allah, with the sincere intention it will grow and spread through out our body triggering us to perform acts of good deeds. And Allah تعالى loves those who do good deeds.

Sources :

Zabrina A. Bakar - Life is an Open Secret